I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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