carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
