Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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