Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
