areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
