:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
