yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
