I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
