shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize