exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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