i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
