what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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