youre lurking in front of me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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