Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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