He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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