Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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