So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
