Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
