I'm going to jail i love you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
