you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
