People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
