What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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