And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
