so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
zippers are such a cool invention
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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