gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize