the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
