I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
