I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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