once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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