This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish you could order shots online.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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