So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
