So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
