Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
