Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize