no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
