I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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