just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
