you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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