Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
