puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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