so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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