Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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