Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
