I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
