in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
