Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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