Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize