just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
