u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize