I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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