Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
