I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize