Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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