Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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