Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A bitchslap is in order.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
