It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
where are you?
Hypothermia
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize