Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Did I show you my penis last night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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