you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
