Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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