mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
