Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize