I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it glows. i had to have it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
