How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
