Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
