would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
