My brain says no but my pants say off.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
