i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
