I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
