I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
