Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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