If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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