So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
3pm strippers are depressing
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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