I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
