she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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