I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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