U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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