I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
