we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
